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 Then =January, 2010 -  a million years ago..

Then: God, I need a job

 Now:  It took a while, but thank you, thank you. 1000 Hail Marys currently in progress.

Then: My brain is melting.

 Now:  No doubt the result of watching The View one too many times while making peanut butter sandwiches two days in advance.

Then: He’s cute.

 Now:  No. He was just OK, but I’d do him.

Then: I love my kids. 

Now.  Ditto, plus, plus.

Then: I AM a good mother and teenagers are friggin’ annoying. 

Now. Yes. And, Hell Yes.

Then: I don’t need hot shoes.

Now: See watching the View and peanut butter sandwiches, above.

Then: Sarah Palin needs a big steaming cup of “shut the fuck up.”

Now:  Thank you, waiter. Keep ‘em coming.

Then: I need help sometimes.

Now: I like help.

Then: 401(k), shmore o’ one kay. I’m screwed and can never retire.

Now:  Never say never.

Then: Sarah Palin writes a book and I’m still writing stupid shit on my computer in the middle of the night. Kill me now.

Now:  Sarah who?

Then:  He’s sweet and I like him and that’s OK.

Now:  Derrrr. Of course he is. I’m an idiot.

Then: I’m never using a credit card ever EVER again.

Now: I think I can. I think I can. I think I Can.

Then: Shit. Can I pay my mortgage?

Now: -Yes. Yes, I Can. You can stop calling me now. Thank you. Fuck you.

Then: I don’t get this health care bill. Did we move to Canada?

Now:  New health insurance subsidies provided to families of four making up to $88K annually , or 400% of the federal poverty level.  Insurance companies prohibited from denying coverage based on pre-existing conditions. Insurers required to provide coverage for non-dependent children up to age 26. I am not moving to Manitoba.

Then: I’m going to write more.

Now: I think I can. I think I can. I think I can.

Then: So, I’m a Cougar. Whatever.

Now: I have tiger blood.

Then: Why does Sarah Palin still bug the crap out of me?!!

Now: Who?

Then and Now:

Life is good.

I am grateful.

I think I’ll fall in love.

Everything’s going to be OK.

My daughter has way more tumblr followers

than I do… than I ever would, or know how to or ever care to try.

like a ridiculous amount.

And she blogs perpetually and creatively and inappropriately and provocatively and insignificantly and spells things correctly and moves people and acts her age but never her shoe size, with passion and conviction and discipline and wanton abandon and teen angst and hormones and an unhealthy preoccupation, bordering on obsession.

And i don’t.

I’m so proud.

I Didn’t Know…

Surfing the Internet. Looking for inspiration. For all things, You. Hmmm…

Red Hot Chili Peppers. Love. Songs. Red Hot Chili Peppers’ love songs.

Found something called, “Looking for Love.” I don’t know that one. I can’t find the track on any album list. I can’t find the song anywhere. Only these lyrics.

Well, I do love words. 

And you.

Happy Birthday.  

Love, Me.

LOOKING FOR LOVE

I was alone thinking I was just fine,

I wasn’t looking for anyone to be mine

I thought that love was just a fabrication,

A train that wouldn’t stop at my station

Home, alone, that was my consignment,

Solitary, confinement

So when we met, I was getting around you,

I didn’t know I was looking for love until I found you.

I didn’t know I was looking for love

‘Cuz there you stood, and I would,

Oh I wonder, could I say how I felt and not be misunderstood?

A thousand stars came into my system,

I never knew how much I have missed them.

Slap, on the lap, of my heart you landed,

I was coy, but you made me candid,

And now the planets circle around you,

I didn’t know I was looking for love until I found you.

So we build from here with love the foundation

In the world of tears, one conselation

Now you’re here and there’s a full brass band

Playing in me like a wonderland

But if you left I would be two foot small

And every tear would be a waterfall

Soundless, boundless, I surround you

I didn’t know I was looking for love until I found you.

I just didn’t know.

I need to vote this November because…

- Bernie Madoff, subprime loans, bank bailouts, WorldCom, AIG, R-E-S-P-E-C-T 

- there were no WMDs in Iraq and I hold grudges

- Sarah Palin’s voice bugs me

- the COBRA subsidies and extended unemployment benefit checks in my bank account

- Fox & Friends

- Rand Paul and Ben Quayle creep me out

- Mama Grizzlies

- We can’t afford to make the perfect the enemy of the absolutely necessary

- I believe in evolution

- Walmart may expand into Africa

- Sarah Palin’s Twitter page bugs me

- I’m the daughter of a proud Cuban/naturalized American father — with a crush on Jackie Kennedy

- Karl Rove is still alive

- Tea Party “Patriots” drink a lot of Mountain Dew 

- I am a mother (not a grizzly)

- A tax increase is not a punishment

- Sarah Palin’s face bugs me

- Katy Perry’s offensive cleavage gets more attention than Kandahar Province

- I want cheap solar panels

- Sarah… oh forget it

- It is my inalienable right