Is this a test???
It may be just me, but living life these days feels like some kind of mind and will-squeezing test; an advanced chemistry final - with no multiple choice questions; a pop trigonometry quiz on a rainy Friday morning after a Thursday tequila shot all-nighter.
Just when I feel I have my bearings, confident I know most of the answers or at least all of the good questions- BANG! Life hits me with some unforeseen twisty turny thing that makes me question if I know a damn thing - about anything. Am I a good mother? Can I do this? What am I truly passionate about? How can I make a difference? Am I really a strong woman? Will I ever really trust anyone? Do I look fat in this??
I think it’s the Internet. Yes. That’s it. Life was really simple and pleasant and I had it all figured out before I even thought to google or formspring or unfriend or youtube or digg or blog or reblog or stumbleupon or linkin or eHarmony or… tumblr. Back in the good old typewriter and library days, those I loved were not distracted by an endless stream of useless enfotainment, SMS messages, photoshopped pics and Internet porn. We talked more - chatted less — in person. We wrapped our fingers around bound sheets of paper and read -chapters and stuff. We had more time to think and feel and hug and discover and wonder and do and Be - powerful and free.
Or - it could just be me. Today may just be a little test that I just didn’t study for and I’m going to have to suck it up - and maybe Google something to help me figure it all out.
Fuck. I hate chemistry.